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August, 2015

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Well the compensation money for nearly swallowing a toy from the breakfast cereal in my Llandudno holiday came through today and I organised our trip to Orlando America.

I did not realise it was that far to fly so I did some press ups to strengthen my arms as they will be tired flapping them up and down flying that far (joke).

We had to fly from Luton Airport and catch the plane at 6:00 in the morning …I did not know there was a 6 o’clock in the morning!!

My friend Mick in his Winnie the Poo pyjamas arrived at 3.00 am to take us to Luton airport and we got there approx 5.00am with matchsticks still supporting our eyelids. Mick bode us goodbye and realised I was saying bye bye to Mick and I got back in the car! Tut Tut these early flights! We checked in and I swore I saw Lorraine Chase at the next aisle!!? (showing my age now)

After check in we went through the body search control to be confronted by a lovely dolly bird I thought my luck had changed but she had just finished her shift and this 7ft rugby look alike frisked me as if he was roughing up a terrier!

He was very personal as he asked me why I was still wearing my pyjamas? Eventually we got on the plane in lower class but sitting in the hold was not too bad as passenger’s cases were pretty comfortable.

19 visits to the toilet and umpteen cups of coffee and kids kicking the back of the seat and we hadn’t even left the runway…but off we went 14hrs later we arrived in America…off the plane and through immigration and passport control, had some weird looks as I had still got my matchsticks attached to my eyelids ..and then we took a cab to the car rental..(got the lingo already).

Well lovely car but opened the door and I thought where is the blinking steering wheel?? You daft twerp said the wife Your in America the steering wheel is on the left…I knew that I said I was having her on ….I think …

Got on the road and cars were hooting their horns and fists at me then my one brain cell clicked they drive on the left as well…did a u-turn and back on track on to the freeway………….( Lewis Hamilton eat your heart out )

Driving along smoothly but never saw the red light and went straight through it and heard this funny sound and realised it was a cop car who stopped and ordered me to alight the vehicle and asked me for my licence..I replied it is in my boot…he stood back with his hand on his gun!, in the trunk, in the trunk in the suitcase…panic over and he checked details and gave me a pass to the policemen’s’ ball.

Nice bloke and escorted me to a funny hotel with bars at the windows.

At the proper hotel we made arrangements for various day trips. Wow! one to Disney World to see Mickey Mouse and Goofy (did I mention the wife came)..stop it, stop it now!

At Disney I shook hands with Mickey and gave him a hug, and squeezed the gorgeous Cinderella, she could not let go… it was a lovely day for both of them.
The parade was great but the kids got in the way.

Two days later we had a nice trip over Orlando in a six seater plane, what a day the plane was stuck together with sellotape and what worried me was the holes in the floor were we had to put our feet out on the runway to stop and I’m sure the pilot said his name was Orville Wright!!

But what a great day was had by all .but what was funny we were greeted by a Red Indian on a simulated reserve and he fed us with a typical red Indian food hamburger and chips! But it went down a treat.

The two weeks fled by and we met some lovely people and had a swim with Dolly the baby dolphin at Sea World and had a game of baseball at a Yankee stadium but they kept asking for their ball back!

Hope you enjoyed my adventures in America it was tiring holiday but enjoyable but at the Airport they confiscated my New Water Tank …they would not let me take Dolly the Dolphin home with me!!

Happy Holidays


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